STORIES OF MY LIFE : THAT HORRIBLE THING CALLED 'DSSC'

DSSC WAS FOR PAPER TIGERS 

It was 1977.

Jose called on us in our Basha at Sri GANGES CITY and while sipping my/his third whiskey, he asked me, why I had not appeared in my first compulsory chance for DSSC?

'Sir, DSSC is meant for Paper Tigers; moreover, I believe that, after the ‘65 ops, a board was put up, a few kilometres short of the IB that had read 'NO psc BEYOND THIS POINT'. Because all the FUs that were created then were done so, only by psc's of those days'. 

'Shut up and don't talk crap', said Jose. 

The whisky had begun to take effect!!

'First do it then criticize It'.

'WILCO! Makes sense'!

'That's what I keep telling him', Jaya butted in. 

Okay! Okay! I will appear for this stupid exam.  

MATERIAL FOR DSSC

After the distractions of attending a Pre-Staff course at my old school at Sanawar, where Kaka Sandhu was our DS, we re-located to the 'NECTAR CITY'. My stockpile of study material was just half a dozen précis that had been issued to me during the YOs, Gunnery and JC Courses. So, I began to collect study material. I proudly possessed a précis on (the now outdated) 'Gas Warfare' of 1950 vintage. I had retrieved it from one of my Dad's trunks lying at my ancestral home. God only knows; these DSSC types might throw a question at us about Gas Warfare????

The friendly GSO3s at Div HQ were also preparing for their last chance to appear for that horrible exam. When I went to their houses to borrow some précis, I could hardly spot them. They were hidden behind piles of précis strewn all over their rooms, which they had accumulated over three long years. 

I would borrow a précis and their beautifully made, short and crisp notes. I would read them then and there and keep them back. I went around NECTAR CITY with a begging bowl and finally managed to collect a motley row of a dozen odd précis. 

YAAD KIYA HAI           

Now began the study. It was a Sunday. 

'Knock Knock. Who's there'?

The Duty JCO. 'Sir, CO Sahab ne yaad kiya hai'! In our unit it was never 'bulayaa hai'. Always 'yaad kiya hai'. 

So back to the unit. 11 kms away. At Chhiata Camp. Jostling in the body of a 3Ton Lorry. The Jeeps were out of our reach. They all were earmarked as CO's No1, No2, No3 and so on upto No.30. The 1Ton truck which was solely meant for the Ladies had horrible pink curtains and cushions and chairs and a matka with glasses. It was forever going or coming from somewhere, with or without the Ladies. One dare not ask? 

After a week of 'Yaad kiya hai', I was forced to ask for Annual Leave.

Was it as per the Leave Planning? Yes Sir!

Have you completed writing all the reports? Yes Sir!

Have you completed writing the new mob scheme? Yes Sir!

Conducted the Div RCL Competition, taken the central lectures? Briefed your Coursemate Bhupi in detail? Yes Sir!

If he creates any FU then I will cut off your balls and fry them for my breakfast. YES SIR!!!!

ANNUAL LEAVE TO STUDY FOR DSSC

`OK go on Annual Leave but spend it in Station’. 

`Yes Sir’ (Bloody B.....d). 

But next day, it was 'Yaad Kiya Hai' once again. I was let-off in the evening. The so-called monologue `Conferences’ of the `Old Man’ usually lasted all day!

On the Third day, of `Yaad Kiya Hai’, Jaya told the Duty JCO who had come knocking, 'साहब की दादी की death हो गयी है । कल के लिये, टिकिट लेने, रेलवे स्टेशन गये हैं। Actually that was quite true. Daadi Ji had really died! 20 years ago!

On the Fourth day, the Duty JCO was sent by the CO Sahab to the Railway Station to 'see me-off'. Actually to make sure that I had physically left the station! I just carried an airbag-full of some précis. I had a vague notion of studying en-transit.

The Duty JCO saw me off on the train. He went back smiling and confirmed to the CO that I had actually left the station! Ram Kumar Sahab has begun to like me by now. 

ENCOUNTER AT 'UNDERWATER CITY'

No one knew that my train ticket was only upto the next stop. I jumped off the train and sat down on a bench of the platform of The CITY UNDERWATER. A Railway Policeman began to look at me questioningly. Too many Fauji's milling around on the platform. What if some one from my unit spotted me? He might spill the beans and God help me if the 'Old Man' came to know? I would lose my balls!

Since the train going back to NECTAR CITY wasn’t due untill evening. I had to spend the rest of the day somehow? There was no place, where I could read my précis. So, I hastily exited the station and caught a cycle rickshaw for the nearest cinema hall. That would be a good hiding place, I thought. It didn't matter what movie? I told him to just take me to the nearest one. It was around noon.

I chose and sat in the front-most row. The movie turned out to be a cheap, disjointed, adult Hindi film, with clips of soft-porn spliced in at places for good measure! 

I was more than surprised when I began to smell a strong but cheap `itar’ scent, perhaps, worn by the lady sitting next to me. A soft hand touched mine. In the reflection of the light of the silver screen, I could see that I was sitting between two ladies of ill repute. They were wearing garish make up and cheap jewellery. They began to pass lewd remarks, which I couldn’t understand!

`मेरे साथ बैठेगा क्या?

Way back, during YOs Course, I had heard some Coursemates recounting their trips to Poona and recalling such phrases. 

Realizing the jam that I had got into and the fact that my reputation was about to be sullied forever; not to forget the police action associated with such activity; I jumped out of my seat, grabbed my bag and left the hall in a hurry!

I prayed that no fauji had spotted me sitting in the front row in between two hungry she wolves. 

I waited for the whole day at the Railway Station and took the evening train back to NECTAR CITY. A cycle rickshaw brought me back to Shahid Nagar in complete darkness. Jaya opened the door of our flat and I slid in and slept, hopefully, unseen! I managed to get 15 solid days of undisturbed study because I had shifted my study room from near the front door to the bathroom at the rear end of our flat. Sitting on the WC with a cushion placed on the closed lid wasn’t that uncomfortable after all!!! It also kept me from falling off to sleep!

The exam was a disaster yet I passed. More on that later.😃😃😃 

 - HC