A bit long!
Especially to be read by, those who are 'Look busy-do nothing' types and have faltu time like me!!

Our Friendly Neighborhood D.R.

By

A Gladiator

A DR is a DR , and we all know how true,

His job in the org, is routine and nothing new.
The story of this DR, as we gradually will learn,
Goes through many bumps, and a u-turn.
There once was a DQ, who the Commander liked.
In every cocktail party, his drink he spiked.
He trusted this DQ, with his very own life,
The DQ was a favorite, of the Commander's wife!
The DQ gave a letter to the DR one day.
“Give this letter to the CO of the unit, I say”,
The message was TOP SECRET, and known to very few,
But as it happened; the Commander's wife knew.
Charged with this mission, off the DR went,
Straight to the unit, to meet the Adjutant.
As luck would have it, he was stopped at the gate,
The RP stopped him short and told him to WAIT!
"CO Sahib's in office, and for lunch, about to go,
You can't see him now, you foolish so and so.
Meri naukri pukka jayegi, if you go in now,
Park behind the gate and wait there somehow."
"I have an urgent message, for CO Sahib I say,
It is TOP SECRET yaar; so let me go, I pray."
But the RP was a Naik; superseded one at that,
"Naheeeen; after CO leaves. Don't you get that?"
"Dont be in such a hurry; 'cause Adjutant will stay,
He only leaves office, when forced to go away.
So wait behind the gate, and let the CO pass,
Thereafter you can, deliver your this letter 'khaas'".
A seasoned chap, this DR, as usually DRs are,
He couldn't bear the insult, nor the 'inkaar'.
He turned about his bike an' fuming zoomed-off,
In all of his service, he had never been ticked-off.
Back to the DQ he did go, as fast as he could ride.
He told the DQ everything, an' nothing did he hide.
On hearing this, the DQ, like thunder began to shout,
He tried to ring the CO, but his telephone was 'out'.
So he told the Staff Captain, "The Unit is to blame”,
Tell the foolish Adjutant that, it is a bloody shame”.
The Staff Captain spoke, to the Adjutant at once,
He complained against the RP , and called him a ‘Dunce’.
The Adjutant was livid, with a voice loudly shrill,
He called in the RP and gave him extra drill.
No one stops a DR, for we all know by now,
He could well be carrying fodder, for the CO’s pet cow!
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The poor DR was shocked, as any DR would be,
He neither smoked his beedi, nor had his cup of tea.
The DQ tried to calm him, and reassured him so,
But the soldier wouldn't hear of it! And ranted more 'n more.
“I won't go there again, I have just had enough,
This duty is a pain, and this job is too rough."
On hearing this, the DQ, loudly began to shout,
He ordered the Staff Captain, to kick the DR out.
The poor crestfallen DR, back to his unit went,
He reported to the RMO in the MI Room tent.
"My job", he told the Doc, "is becoming quite a bore,
Riding a bike all day, has made my bum quite sore."
The RMO, said 'Hmmm', as all RMOs do,
"Soldier, I hope this morn, did you go to the loo?"
His bum the Doc examined, and gave him ‘Attend C’,
“Take the week off my dear, then next week we'll see”.
Wthout a DR, Sir ji, all work came to a halt,
The Dak lay undelivered, for just an RP”s fault.
The matter was discussed in, Commander’s conference too,
No solution was found, after a tea-break or two.
Other MCs were there, but their mileage was all 'Nil',
The Jeeps were all NA, as they had taken many a spill.
They asked every unit, all ranks ran around,
Unfortunately for them all, a DR couldn't be found.
All other formations, a vehicle couldn't provide,
They were having CEME inspections, With no vehicles to ride.
They finally found a DR, attached to AWWA Shop,
But he was a big drunkard, who didn’t know when to stop!
"Without an MC/DR, what-the-hell can we do?"
Officers, JCOs and OR; no one had a clue?
When the CO heard about it, he called his Runner Jai,
“2IC Sahib ko bolo, Maine yaad kiya hai”.
-----------------
The LAMB, to the slaughter came, as he always did at noon,
His Commnand Report was due, and his Promotion Board was soon.
“Find a MC/DR, before the end of Day”,
The CO had barely finished, when the 2IC sped away,
Straight to the LION he went and passed the order on,
The LION to the JA, who passed it on and on.
The RP was called and he was questioned, why?
He narrated the incident, in a way that was wry.
At long last The LION, got up from his chair,
With notepad in hand, he entered TIGER's lair.
The 'Old Man' was 'mad', "COME IN", he did yell,
“What's wrong with this RP?,” his eyes began to swell.
“But Sir”, said the LION, "Our RP's not to blame,
The letter DR carried, did not have any name??
It was only a message, asking your lady wife,
To arrange a card session, for Commander’s wife!"
"I don't care a damn; he should let the DRs 'In',
Make sure its not repeated; now send the SM in?
The matter got reported up-the-command-chain,
The Div Staff heard about it, again and again.
Col Adm at Div HQ, he also came to know,
In all such cases, he never let it go.
He told his own AQ, "Put-up the case on file,”
Then he took it to GOC, his face bearing a smile?
The GOC that morning, was all shaven & shorn,
His wife had lost in cards, on that very morn,
His golf game was also, not quite at par,
The Col Adm too, had left the office door ajar.
So he pressed the panic button, called ADC in,
"Go an tell the Deputy, my wife must always win.
If she loses once again, his peace I'll surely take,
My wife must always win or his career is at stake."
He went upto his desk, and on a chair sat down,
He saw the DR's file, and developed a big frown,
“What the bloody hell is this? A DR can't be found?”
He ordered the Col Adm, to 'go look around'.
“I want a good DR, and I don't care how,
You beg, borrow, steal, or crank tail of a cow”.
Without an MC/DR, nothing can move, you know?",
So an EMERGENCY message was flashed to the CO.
-----------
The message for a DR, through the Signal Centre came,
It remained uncollected, as no DR ever came!
Then the Col Adm, to the CO he spoke,
And in a fit of rage, even called him a ‘Bloke’.
The CO knew at once, that his neck was in the noose,
If he didn’t find a DR, he would surely cook his goose.
He finally called his SM, and said, “Sahib, TAGDA RAHO”,
“Kal Subah tak, ek MC/DR paida karo”.
“Honcha Sir” said the SM, next morning, if you please,
There stood a MC/DR, all spit, polish and crease.
Messages were delivered, all documents were too,
Replies reached Commander, with the Dak of a day or two.
A cake was cut that evening,
Brought by the Mess Havildar,
It was bought from the baker,
By the new MC/DR!!
No one ever guessed, and no one ever will,
The OR couldn't ride a bike, nor he ever will.
But a DR from the unit, had finally been found,
'Total poora ho gayaa', there on the ground.
The BMs wife was happy,
The COs wife was too.
The Col Adm’s couldnt care less,
The GOC’s wife, she knew.
So in this quaint example,
There's a moral for us all.
That, in any such case,
'Total poora ho'...that's all!
***********************************************
It's just a jest. No offence meant!!!

-HC