The Legend of Room No. 420

The year was 1995!

I was posted as G3 near Bikaner and was preparing for my Staff College Entrance Exam! This was my 2nd attempt, having missed out in my 1st attempt by a whisker!!

Since I was posted on Staff I could not be spared to attend the pre-staff course!

However, the BM, that time, Maj Pillai, from The GUARDS was kind enough to spare me from the morning and evening parade!

I was permitted to study at home and attend office from 8.30 to 1.30 only! He also offered to help me in my preparation for Tac B paper by checking my practice appreciations and guiding me!

Otherwise, I was struggling on my own to cope up with the syllabus for the exam and prepare for the big battle ahead of me.... Like a lone ranger!

Though, I did have the benefit of having the hand written notes, meticulously prepared by Kler Sir, which helped me a great deal in my struggle! Especially for SMT and Adm & Morale.... the entire syllabus reduced to two answer sheets each! So one did not have to read the entire study material for these two subjects again and again!

I remember having used to lock myself inside my study room for hours…... trying to study for the exam and adhere to time table that I had prepared for myself!!

Those days, my son Gaurav was about six months old and had just started crawling around the house! He would wait outside my study room for hours, piling up all his toys in front of the door as if planning an ambush! He used to wait for me to open the door and the moment I came out to take a break he would immediately rush inside the study and try and wreak havoc with my books and study material!! Shivani used to have a tough time controlling him!

Fortunately for me, the regt was at Jaisalmer those days and Rocky Thakur Sir was also preparing for the same exam! He was also lucky to have attended the pre-staff course at Secunderabad where Saby Sir was one of the Instructors!

That is when Col Das, who was the Comdt those days, asked me to come down to Jaisalmer. He said he will make me practice writing the appreciations for Tac B, check the same and give me some valuable tips and guidance in my preparation for the exam. In addition, I could also interact with Thakur Sir, go through the material from pre-staff and exchange notes with him!!

So, during my leave, I along with Shivani and Gaurav took the night bus from Bikaner to Jaisalmer and went to the Regt for a week!

And there I was.... practicing writing Tac B appreciations under the watchful eyes of Das Sir and also personally being mentored by him!

In the meanwhile, Mrs Sinha, who was staying in the Offrs Mess temp accn, used to look after Shivani and Gaurav! She also took them for the city darshan and for meeting with the other ladies staying in the offrs colony!

In addition to my studies, we also had some fun moments spent with our extended Gladiators family.... The married offrs were staying in the ONGC Complex on the other end of Jaisalmer! So, a few evenings were spent in calling on them and proved to be a big morale booster for me!

Thakur sir was staying in a rented house closer to the regt location!! So his house was our abode for the balance time available to us.... studying together, exchanging notes for each subject and trying to soak in as much knowledge as possible! Plus some fun moments for the ladies also!

That one week of my business cum pleasure trip to Jaisalmer proved to be very useful and raised my confidence level tremendously!

The nearest Exam Centre was Bathinda, but one could write the exam for any centre of his choice! So Thakur Sir and I decided to write the exam from Delhi Centre! We booked a guest room in ABHM at SP Marg, starting one week before the commencement of our exam so that we could do our final revision together and be ready for the battle ahead of us!!

I landed up in Delhi, at the ABHM, in last week of Aug, as planned. Thakur Sir was already staying at Mayur Vihar with his parents and he came down from there!

But to our horror ..... we found that we had been allotted Room No. 420!!! Our first reaction was .... "Gaye kaam se!!" We requested the Mess Havildar if he can shift us to some other room!! Obviously he expressed his inability to do so as all rooms were booked! So Room No. 420 was our abode for the next few days!!!

We began in the right earnest, trying to revise the syllabus of all subjects seriously and clear our last minute doubts as much as possible!

And then the day of reckoning arrived! Our first paper was GK & Current Affairs. While going through the newspaper to brush up on our current affairs, we read about the Ebola Virus, which had broken out in South Africa, in passing! Thakur Sir said that this seems to be a hot topic and we must read about it! And when we opened our Current Affairs paper in the exam hall.... there was a 50 marks question on Ebula Virus!! So it was like a blessing in disguise and boosted our morale and confidence tremendously!!!

Thereafter, one by one we went through the motions of studying and revising each subject and putting our knowledge and pearls of wisdom on paper during the exam! The notes prepared by Kler Sir for SMT and Adm & Morale turned out to be a savior for us for our revision!!

On the evening before the Tac B paper as we went to have our dinner in the mess, we found Go Sir, who was commanding WARDEC those days and staying in the temp accn in ABHM, waiting for us in the lobby! He had come to boost our morale and offered us a drink, which obviously we declined because we had to study for the most imp paper -  Tac B!

Go Sir told us, "Guys! Tac B is one subject which either you know it or don't! You will not be able to learn anything extra in 2-3 hours!” So we had a couple of Solan No. 1's on his behest before dinner to relax our mind a bit! Before leaving he wished us Best of Luck for the Tac B Paper!!

According to the grapevine, everyone was expecting the setting to be attack in mountains in the Tac B exam!!!

When I opened the Map for the Tac B paper in the exam hall, instead of mountains the setting was that of the deserts!! Two things struck me immediately.... Ghesura village and the Hanuman temple next to it which was the objective to be captured!!

Suddenly my confidence was boosted, because this was the exact location where I had done my first Sqn exercise as a troop leader under Bhatti Sir!

In that exercise, I was informed by none other than Thakur Sir, who was the adjt those days, that the sqn cdr has become a casualty and the then Comdt .... HC Sir has ordered me to lead the sqn for capture of our objective, Hanuman mandir near Ghesura Village!! Which the sqn did successfully and very valiantly!!

It seemed like Bajrang Bali was with me in my battle of Tac B paper that day and I came out of the exam hall after finishing the paper quite satisfied!!!

But alas, when we exchanged notes, my confidence went down a little bit because my plan was different from Thakur Sir's and I realised that I had also missed out on a few imp things!

But anyways, nothing could be done about it, other than keeping our fingers crossed and hoping for the best!!

We both returned to our respective locations, expecting that Room No. 420 will turn out to be lucky for us!!!

Finally, on 7th Nov 1995, while we were celebrating Gaurav's first birthday, we got to know that the Staff College entrance exam results have been declared! As luck would have it, both Thakur Sir and self had made it!!!

So, Room No. 420 had actually proved to be lucky for both of us!!!

A bit long!
Especially to be read by, those who are 'Look busy-do nothing' types and have faltu time like me!!

Our Friendly Neighborhood D.R.

By

A Gladiator

A DR is a DR , and we all know how true,

His job in the org, is routine and nothing new.
The story of this DR, as we gradually will learn,
Goes through many bumps, and a u-turn.
There once was a DQ, who the Commander liked.
In every cocktail party, his drink he spiked.
He trusted this DQ, with his very own life,
The DQ was a favorite, of the Commander's wife!
The DQ gave a letter to the DR one day.
“Give this letter to the CO of the unit, I say”,
The message was TOP SECRET, and known to very few,
But as it happened; the Commander's wife knew.
Charged with this mission, off the DR went,
Straight to the unit, to meet the Adjutant.
As luck would have it, he was stopped at the gate,
The RP stopped him short and told him to WAIT!
"CO Sahib's in office, and for lunch, about to go,
You can't see him now, you foolish so and so.
Meri naukri pukka jayegi, if you go in now,
Park behind the gate and wait there somehow."
"I have an urgent message, for CO Sahib I say,
It is TOP SECRET yaar; so let me go, I pray."
But the RP was a Naik; superseded one at that,
"Naheeeen; after CO leaves. Don't you get that?"
"Dont be in such a hurry; 'cause Adjutant will stay,
He only leaves office, when forced to go away.
So wait behind the gate, and let the CO pass,
Thereafter you can, deliver your this letter 'khaas'".
A seasoned chap, this DR, as usually DRs are,
He couldn't bear the insult, nor the 'inkaar'.
He turned about his bike an' fuming zoomed-off,
In all of his service, he had never been ticked-off.
Back to the DQ he did go, as fast as he could ride.
He told the DQ everything, an' nothing did he hide.
On hearing this, the DQ, like thunder began to shout,
He tried to ring the CO, but his telephone was 'out'.
So he told the Staff Captain, "The Unit is to blame”,
Tell the foolish Adjutant that, it is a bloody shame”.
The Staff Captain spoke, to the Adjutant at once,
He complained against the RP , and called him a ‘Dunce’.
The Adjutant was livid, with a voice loudly shrill,
He called in the RP and gave him extra drill.
No one stops a DR, for we all know by now,
He could well be carrying fodder, for the CO’s pet cow!
-----------
The poor DR was shocked, as any DR would be,
He neither smoked his beedi, nor had his cup of tea.
The DQ tried to calm him, and reassured him so,
But the soldier wouldn't hear of it! And ranted more 'n more.
“I won't go there again, I have just had enough,
This duty is a pain, and this job is too rough."
On hearing this, the DQ, loudly began to shout,
He ordered the Staff Captain, to kick the DR out.
The poor crestfallen DR, back to his unit went,
He reported to the RMO in the MI Room tent.
"My job", he told the Doc, "is becoming quite a bore,
Riding a bike all day, has made my bum quite sore."
The RMO, said 'Hmmm', as all RMOs do,
"Soldier, I hope this morn, did you go to the loo?"
His bum the Doc examined, and gave him ‘Attend C’,
“Take the week off my dear, then next week we'll see”.
Wthout a DR, Sir ji, all work came to a halt,
The Dak lay undelivered, for just an RP”s fault.
The matter was discussed in, Commander’s conference too,
No solution was found, after a tea-break or two.
Other MCs were there, but their mileage was all 'Nil',
The Jeeps were all NA, as they had taken many a spill.
They asked every unit, all ranks ran around,
Unfortunately for them all, a DR couldn't be found.
All other formations, a vehicle couldn't provide,
They were having CEME inspections, With no vehicles to ride.
They finally found a DR, attached to AWWA Shop,
But he was a big drunkard, who didn’t know when to stop!
"Without an MC/DR, what-the-hell can we do?"
Officers, JCOs and OR; no one had a clue?
When the CO heard about it, he called his Runner Jai,
“2IC Sahib ko bolo, Maine yaad kiya hai”.
-----------------
The LAMB, to the slaughter came, as he always did at noon,
His Commnand Report was due, and his Promotion Board was soon.
“Find a MC/DR, before the end of Day”,
The CO had barely finished, when the 2IC sped away,
Straight to the LION he went and passed the order on,
The LION to the JA, who passed it on and on.
The RP was called and he was questioned, why?
He narrated the incident, in a way that was wry.
At long last The LION, got up from his chair,
With notepad in hand, he entered TIGER's lair.
The 'Old Man' was 'mad', "COME IN", he did yell,
“What's wrong with this RP?,” his eyes began to swell.
“But Sir”, said the LION, "Our RP's not to blame,
The letter DR carried, did not have any name??
It was only a message, asking your lady wife,
To arrange a card session, for Commander’s wife!"
"I don't care a damn; he should let the DRs 'In',
Make sure its not repeated; now send the SM in?
The matter got reported up-the-command-chain,
The Div Staff heard about it, again and again.
Col Adm at Div HQ, he also came to know,
In all such cases, he never let it go.
He told his own AQ, "Put-up the case on file,”
Then he took it to GOC, his face bearing a smile?
The GOC that morning, was all shaven & shorn,
His wife had lost in cards, on that very morn,
His golf game was also, not quite at par,
The Col Adm too, had left the office door ajar.
So he pressed the panic button, called ADC in,
"Go an tell the Deputy, my wife must always win.
If she loses once again, his peace I'll surely take,
My wife must always win or his career is at stake."
He went upto his desk, and on a chair sat down,
He saw the DR's file, and developed a big frown,
“What the bloody hell is this? A DR can't be found?”
He ordered the Col Adm, to 'go look around'.
“I want a good DR, and I don't care how,
You beg, borrow, steal, or crank tail of a cow”.
Without an MC/DR, nothing can move, you know?",
So an EMERGENCY message was flashed to the CO.
-----------
The message for a DR, through the Signal Centre came,
It remained uncollected, as no DR ever came!
Then the Col Adm, to the CO he spoke,
And in a fit of rage, even called him a ‘Bloke’.
The CO knew at once, that his neck was in the noose,
If he didn’t find a DR, he would surely cook his goose.
He finally called his SM, and said, “Sahib, TAGDA RAHO”,
“Kal Subah tak, ek MC/DR paida karo”.
“Honcha Sir” said the SM, next morning, if you please,
There stood a MC/DR, all spit, polish and crease.
Messages were delivered, all documents were too,
Replies reached Commander, with the Dak of a day or two.
A cake was cut that evening,
Brought by the Mess Havildar,
It was bought from the baker,
By the new MC/DR!!
No one ever guessed, and no one ever will,
The OR couldn't ride a bike, nor he ever will.
But a DR from the unit, had finally been found,
'Total poora ho gayaa', there on the ground.
The BMs wife was happy,
The COs wife was too.
The Col Adm’s couldnt care less,
The GOC’s wife, she knew.
So in this quaint example,
There's a moral for us all.
That, in any such case,
'Total poora ho'...that's all!
***********************************************
It's just a jest. No offence meant!!!

-HC

Gladiators@Pune........ Enjoying the hospitality of Brar's!!!!

STORIES OF MY LIFE : THAT HORRIBLE THING CALLED 'DSSC'

DSSC WAS FOR PAPER TIGERS 

It was 1977.

Jose called on us in our Basha at Sri GANGES CITY and while sipping my/his third whiskey, he asked me, why I had not appeared in my first compulsory chance for DSSC?

'Sir, DSSC is meant for Paper Tigers; moreover, I believe that, after the ‘65 ops, a board was put up, a few kilometres short of the IB that had read 'NO psc BEYOND THIS POINT'. Because all the FUs that were created then were done so, only by psc's of those days'. 

'Shut up and don't talk crap', said Jose. 

The whisky had begun to take effect!!

'First do it then criticize It'.

'WILCO! Makes sense'!

'That's what I keep telling him', Jaya butted in. 

Okay! Okay! I will appear for this stupid exam.  

MATERIAL FOR DSSC

After the distractions of attending a Pre-Staff course at my old school at Sanawar, where Kaka Sandhu was our DS, we re-located to the 'NECTAR CITY'. My stockpile of study material was just half a dozen précis that had been issued to me during the YOs, Gunnery and JC Courses. So, I began to collect study material. I proudly possessed a précis on (the now outdated) 'Gas Warfare' of 1950 vintage. I had retrieved it from one of my Dad's trunks lying at my ancestral home. God only knows; these DSSC types might throw a question at us about Gas Warfare????

The friendly GSO3s at Div HQ were also preparing for their last chance to appear for that horrible exam. When I went to their houses to borrow some précis, I could hardly spot them. They were hidden behind piles of précis strewn all over their rooms, which they had accumulated over three long years. 

I would borrow a précis and their beautifully made, short and crisp notes. I would read them then and there and keep them back. I went around NECTAR CITY with a begging bowl and finally managed to collect a motley row of a dozen odd précis. 

YAAD KIYA HAI           

Now began the study. It was a Sunday. 

'Knock Knock. Who's there'?

The Duty JCO. 'Sir, CO Sahab ne yaad kiya hai'! In our unit it was never 'bulayaa hai'. Always 'yaad kiya hai'. 

So back to the unit. 11 kms away. At Chhiata Camp. Jostling in the body of a 3Ton Lorry. The Jeeps were out of our reach. They all were earmarked as CO's No1, No2, No3 and so on upto No.30. The 1Ton truck which was solely meant for the Ladies had horrible pink curtains and cushions and chairs and a matka with glasses. It was forever going or coming from somewhere, with or without the Ladies. One dare not ask? 

After a week of 'Yaad kiya hai', I was forced to ask for Annual Leave.

Was it as per the Leave Planning? Yes Sir!

Have you completed writing all the reports? Yes Sir!

Have you completed writing the new mob scheme? Yes Sir!

Conducted the Div RCL Competition, taken the central lectures? Briefed your Coursemate Bhupi in detail? Yes Sir!

If he creates any FU then I will cut off your balls and fry them for my breakfast. YES SIR!!!!

ANNUAL LEAVE TO STUDY FOR DSSC

`OK go on Annual Leave but spend it in Station’. 

`Yes Sir’ (Bloody B.....d). 

But next day, it was 'Yaad Kiya Hai' once again. I was let-off in the evening. The so-called monologue `Conferences’ of the `Old Man’ usually lasted all day!

On the Third day, of `Yaad Kiya Hai’, Jaya told the Duty JCO who had come knocking, 'साहब की दादी की death हो गयी है । कल के लिये, टिकिट लेने, रेलवे स्टेशन गये हैं। Actually that was quite true. Daadi Ji had really died! 20 years ago!

On the Fourth day, the Duty JCO was sent by the CO Sahab to the Railway Station to 'see me-off'. Actually to make sure that I had physically left the station! I just carried an airbag-full of some précis. I had a vague notion of studying en-transit.

The Duty JCO saw me off on the train. He went back smiling and confirmed to the CO that I had actually left the station! Ram Kumar Sahab has begun to like me by now. 

ENCOUNTER AT 'UNDERWATER CITY'

No one knew that my train ticket was only upto the next stop. I jumped off the train and sat down on a bench of the platform of The CITY UNDERWATER. A Railway Policeman began to look at me questioningly. Too many Fauji's milling around on the platform. What if some one from my unit spotted me? He might spill the beans and God help me if the 'Old Man' came to know? I would lose my balls!

Since the train going back to NECTAR CITY wasn’t due untill evening. I had to spend the rest of the day somehow? There was no place, where I could read my précis. So, I hastily exited the station and caught a cycle rickshaw for the nearest cinema hall. That would be a good hiding place, I thought. It didn't matter what movie? I told him to just take me to the nearest one. It was around noon.

I chose and sat in the front-most row. The movie turned out to be a cheap, disjointed, adult Hindi film, with clips of soft-porn spliced in at places for good measure! 

I was more than surprised when I began to smell a strong but cheap `itar’ scent, perhaps, worn by the lady sitting next to me. A soft hand touched mine. In the reflection of the light of the silver screen, I could see that I was sitting between two ladies of ill repute. They were wearing garish make up and cheap jewellery. They began to pass lewd remarks, which I couldn’t understand!

`मेरे साथ बैठेगा क्या?

Way back, during YOs Course, I had heard some Coursemates recounting their trips to Poona and recalling such phrases. 

Realizing the jam that I had got into and the fact that my reputation was about to be sullied forever; not to forget the police action associated with such activity; I jumped out of my seat, grabbed my bag and left the hall in a hurry!

I prayed that no fauji had spotted me sitting in the front row in between two hungry she wolves. 

I waited for the whole day at the Railway Station and took the evening train back to NECTAR CITY. A cycle rickshaw brought me back to Shahid Nagar in complete darkness. Jaya opened the door of our flat and I slid in and slept, hopefully, unseen! I managed to get 15 solid days of undisturbed study because I had shifted my study room from near the front door to the bathroom at the rear end of our flat. Sitting on the WC with a cushion placed on the closed lid wasn’t that uncomfortable after all!!! It also kept me from falling off to sleep!

The exam was a disaster yet I passed. More on that later.😃😃😃 

 - HC

No Love for the Colonel

     The walk from the railway station platform to the cab appeared the longest the colonel had ever walked in his life.

     The train journey had passed very quickly, having covered the distance from the military station to New Delhi in a matter of few hours. The Colonel had been granted premature retirement . His thoughts reflected upon the events of last couple of hours before he boarded the train to his home finally.

     He stood at attention saluting the regiment flag, the last time he would be doing so, while wearing a uniform. 21 years ago he had first saluted this very flag, as a young subaltern, newly posted to his tank unit . Seemed like a long time ago.

     At the military station he had calmly waited to board the train back. He had strictly ordered for no one to see him off. Except for his Jeep driver, Dafedar Mohan and his buddy, Sowar Mahesh, no one else was there. Together the three sipped the tea , warm from the thermos flask, having been prepared by the officers mess staff. A few biscuits were offered along with cheese sandwiches, which the Colonel gratefully ate, sharing with the men.

     "Sir, the men will miss you", Dafedar Mohan addressed the Lt Colonel.

     Lt Colonel Jack looked away, his eyes betrayed no emotions, but inwards he felt the deep sadness at leaving his family of 21 long years. This had been his only home, a place where he was loved, and loved back ten fold the brave men and officers of his Tank Regiment.

     But what had to be done, had to be done. His decision had been final. The old General, his father had been seriously ill last few years and chances of his surviving this year seemed highly unlikely. He swallowed, but didn't say anything.

     "Sir, who will teach us hand to hand combat , now that you are leaving? His buddy asked? And I was thinking of beating you in 5 km battle run, this year, but of course you are not going to be there", he joked.

     " Don't worry, i will come back to whip all you guys, in pistol shoot and battle tests, so better be prepared". The Colonel had an unbeaten record in both physical tests and pistol shooting, in the history of his regiment , besides being an expert in hand to hand combat. He relished the long hours training his men in fighting. Suddenly he was overcome by melancholy, who would he train with, now, outside as an ex army man? That thought struck an intense chord deep within him. Alone. Now he would be totally alone.

     On the other side of the platform, few soldiers waited to see off a young officer of an infantry battalion off for his wedding. There was leg pulling going on, the officer visibly embarrassed but enjoying the banter with his troops.

      A cold breeze blew, the sky was cloudy, it was the month of January, and the soldiers rubbed their palms together to stay warm, waiting for the train to arrive. Which it did. Both officers boarded the train . Having given a hug to the teary eyed men, Jack found his seat, pushed his only bag underneath the seat and looked outside at the fast moving scenery, the greenery of Punjab, moving along with the train chugging away at speed.

     So, that's it. He thought to himself, now what? He had no intention of working under any civilian, once out in the civvie street. He had no need to. A man of frugal tastes, he neither went clubbing, being a coffee lover, nor did he travel away from his paternal home.

     There would be no one to receive him. The train journey passed off uneventfully, and he de-trained, walking slowly, towards his uncertain future.

     But the distracted chain of thoughts did not lend him to any reduced sense of alertness . Forever in a state of fighting readiness, he constantly scanned the platform for any hidden lurking danger. Quite too often he had read reports of criminal activity in the station. Gangs would snatch an unsuspecting man's hand baggage and run away, merging with the crowd. Once they melted away, there would be no chance of receiving the lost baggage.

     The time in the platform clock showed 10 pm. Certain areas were dark and shadowy. Railway police personal would have by now finished their patrolling and only few police personnel could be on duty.

     As the colonel stepped up to climb the stairs, a man pushed past him, making a grab for his hand bag. The Colonel side stepped, whipping a lightening fast forearm strike to the man's throat, sending him pitching forward flat on his face, grievously wounded. Immediately he scanned for more miscreants, finding none, he continued walking up the stairs and away from the scene of an unwanted episode he had hardly needed today .

     Having replaced his combat fatigues for a denim jeans and a classic leather jacket, he looked quite a dapper and smart gentleman, a deceptive look for an ex army officer trained in one of the world's most lethal fighting systems, an Israeli combat system. The thief had been taken by surprise, unused to dealing with a fighting man, he had thought it would be a piece of cake, but it proved otherwise.

     Elsewhere, another member of the gang of thieves, waited to share the spoils of the nights snatching. Little did he realize, it would be a long wait, as his partner in crime lay unconscious, knocked senseless by the Colonels swift response to the threat, neutralizing it as easy as swatting away a fly.

      Having reached the car park, he located the waiting cab driver and got inside. He took a long sigh, it would be a long and lonely ride to his home, now. There would be no one to meet him home. The old General was in the hospital, and his mother too, as an attendant to look after his father. There were no servants , all having deserted a few weeks back. The home would bear a despondent look. But there had been no choice. Someone had to be there to look after the old and ageing parents. The city lights flashed by fast, Jack checked his phone, unnecessarily, for no one used to message him, nor call him. Outside his army, he had no friends. He was completely alone. There was no love in the cold, civilian life that awaited the Colonel. His hands closed instinctively into fists and he punched the seat in front hard, "damn, I need to get back to training", he thought, "or I would turn insane".

- Jaideep